March 31, 2002
So last year I
So last year I got laid off, and had never been laid off before. Spent six weeks stressing out and accepted a job that I didn't feel totally psyched about but was a better opportunity than the other ones I had at the time. I ended up getting let go three months later for flunking the 90-day eval. They were creepy about the whole thing and using it to hide the reason that they were having financial problems. When I left I found myself wondering if I should have listened to my gut more about it. The thing is I had been stressed about money, and I did get three months worth of a fat salary. So I never quite came to the conclusion that it hadn't been worth it. But now I'm thinking. I'm getting back into employed land and am once again making a good impression on employers, same as I have every single time before that bunch of creeps. And yet it surprises me a bit. To be making that good impression. And so I'm thinking about how long it took me to get back on the horse. Economy and 9/11 aside. And thinking that maybe that experience really did damage my confidence for a while, in ways I hadn't totally grasped. And that even though I got that fat salary, I sure didn't make a lot last year. So maybe it really wasn't worth it.Ah, that's not quite it though. I'm not exactly looking for a reason to feel like I did something wrong. The only conclusions here are, I like freelancing, I like listening to my gut, and they are STILL creeps.
And I'm up way too late. What the hell am I doing?? I all wanted to go
to the unitarian church tomorrow for easter. I might not make it. Ah
well. My only really big goal for tomorrow is to finally finish my
taxes.
Posted by Curt at March 31, 2002 04:34 AM