March 15, 2002
Job hunting is weird.
Job hunting is weird. Freelancing is weirder because the job hunting never stops even when you already have a job. Right now I actually have two jobs, but it doesn't exactly leave me feeling like I can relax. But even while working at a job and having to look for more, I kind of liked that I was able to just get up in the middle of the day and walk up to this other appointment without having to explain anything to anyone. This feels like a right lifestyle for me for right now.I've done a bit less work for Derek than I thought I would this week, but I have tomorrow to do more and he wasn't expecting me to do a lot this week, anyway. I've spent most of the week preparing for She, being with She, and recovering from being with She, and since then doing job hunting stuff. I got some pressing items off of my todo list today, but I still have to do my taxes. I'm probably just going to use Turbo Tax again this year, even though I hear it's possible I could find a lot more deductions if I used a tax specialist. I just don't think my tax situation was all that complicated last year. Next year, definitely.
"She" is confusing me. Actually, I am confusing me. She's being
decidedly less confusing than she has been in the past, and that is what
confuses me. It is nice being with her, which confuses me. But I still
don't really feel like opening up to her a whole lot - not that that is
all that voluntary of a choice right now. It's just taking time, and I
probably won't know which way it settles for a little while. I do tend
to feel a bit annoyed at all these little steps to go through, though -
just that life is taking a bit longer to clear up than I would like.
But that is not all a She thing. I just want my house and piano and
solid happy job/company and joyful mate already, so I can start working
on the rest of my life again. I feel like I'm a level behind on the
maszlo's hierarchy compared to where I want to be. I want to be
thinking more about my spirituality and how to make the world better
for more than just me, not thinking about where I'm going to live in
three months and who I should date. Geez.
Posted by Curt at March 15, 2002 12:08 AM